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The Bowline Knot
Submitted by An Outdoor Idiots Team Member.
Appendix: Animal Testing
Apparently, we at Outdoor Idiots.com are normally very much against animal testing (I asked around). We are of course all at one with nature here, and are wholly against such things. But, incensed by the silliness of rabbit stories being used to aid the memory when tying knots, I thought it was justified in this case.I felt the need to make it clear just how inappropriate this kind of thing is, and I want to stamp out the practice completely. Rabbits and knots simply do not mix, and I intend to prove it. So I nipped down to the local woods and caught four test specimens.
Here they are (Fig.1). I've called them, from left to right: Chico, Harpo, Groucho and Gummo. I hope you like them.
The test was simple: I placed them each in separate chambers with a rope and instructions for tying a Bowline knot. They had food and water, so stop crying and don't write in. The results were very revealing indeed, and I hope they put an end to this matter once and for all.
Test Results - Chico
Things got off to a promising start with Chico. He seemed bright and happy, and up for the challenge (Fig. 2).
Unfortunately, however, a large amount of time elapsed, with no sign of any knots being tied. Chico, in fact, turned out to be the most time-consuming test subject. The test was terminated at 16 days and 3 hours, when Chico, having used the time to grow a beard, made his excuses and left. He claimed he needed to go shopping (Fig. 3).
I suspect this was a ruse to get out of the test, and have no reason to believe that he could have ever tied the knot. If you see him while out shopping, please ask him to get in touch.
Test Results - Harpo
Harpo lacked the initial enthusiasm of Chico. He seemed rather apprehensive from the start (Fig. 4).
He spent most of the time sitting down and looking confused (Fig. 5):
Eventually, he just sat there crying (Fig. 6).
Frankly, I couldn't stand the noise. I had to conclude the test at that point, and kick him out.
Test Results - Groucho
Groucho turned out to be rather annoying. He was the office joker of the rabbit world (Fig. 7). Note the eyes are all wrong:
He seemed completely disinterested in the test, and more interested in showing us what he could do with his ears (Fig. 8):
This was fun at the start, but quickly grew very tiresome. He refused to stop, so we killed him. Don't get all judgemental on us - you'd have to have been there. You'd have done the same thing.
Test Results - Gummo
Gummo's story was a sad one. He seemed the most promising of the bunch (Fig. 9). He actually made some effort to examine the instructions.
We were very patient with him, since he seemed to be making the effort. Eventually, however, after we noticed he hadn't moved for over an hour, we realised that he had died on his feet. We got a vet in, who concluded that it must have been complexity-induced myxomatosis (Fig. 10):
We liked him, so we had him stuffed. Then we got bored with him, and sold him on Ebay.
Conclusion
Rabbits and knots do not mix. So stop it.Page 4 of 4 Previous [Top of Page]
Page 1: Introduction
Page 2: Tying the Bowline Knot
Page 3: Failures of the Bowline Knot
Page 4: Appendix: Animal Testing
Page 2: Tying the Bowline Knot
Page 3: Failures of the Bowline Knot
Page 4: Appendix: Animal Testing
We won't actually tolerate cruelty to animals, and so you can't discuss animal experiments here. You can, however, discuss the virtues and perils of the Bowline knot, if you wish. Here.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
Your Comments
On 20 May 2007, ralph dot greene at tx.rr.com said:Step 1. Hold the live part of the rope vertical while with your other hand make a clockwise three quarter turn on the working end (tail). Wa la !...Tree and Hole and the rest is history. I liked your article but the Rabbit is still good. Ralph Greene
On 14 March 2007, Alex U. said:
You're tying a sheet bend. I don't get it.
The Outdoor Idiots.com Emergency Response Team says:
We've added an explanatory box to the top of the third page. If that doesn't help, please email us.
On 3 November 2006, Fascist said:
I think Gummo looks more like a Zeppo...
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