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Bring Me Sunshine...

Submitted by An Outdoor Idiots Team Member.



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We were both lying on a small patch of grass just off to one side of the mountain ridge. It was just big enough for the two of us. It was on a steep and awkward slope, and I was at the highest point of the slope. I needed to use my feet against the rock to stop myself sliding down on to my walking partner. We were high up the mountain by this stage, and had we bothered to look, there was a marvellous view. We were right on the edge. If I had popped my head over, I would have been looking at a drop of a few hundred feet. But I didn't much care about either the view or the drop at that moment. I was just lying on my side, staring at a blade of grass right in front of my eyes. I wasn't coping with the situation quite as well as my partner. I was glad to be alive. And I felt that I had just found the only spot on the ridge that I'd seen in the last hour which might keep me that way. I had found some shade.

It was the middle of the recent heat wave that has been sweeping across the UK. I'm not exactly a summer person. I've paid close attention to the temperature over the last few years as I've been out walking. Without a doubt, 10°C (50°F) is about the most ideal temperature there is for walking, and I won't hear otherwise. Except maybe if it's a particularly strenuous walk, in which case a bit cooler is better.

The older I get the more I realise just how unusual my taste in temperature is. I really don't understand the attitude that so many people have towards temperature. It seems to be a cultural thing. Weather readers are the worst. They can never deliver a report with a neutral opinion about temperature. They always use adjectives that tell us what we should think. Without fail, the hotter the better. Just a few days ago, while the heat wave was still on, a weather reader couldn't resist expressing her opinion. She was pointing to temperatures of 29 and 30 Celsius (86°F) all over the map, then said, "...but we need to go to the south east for the really decent temperatures..." which were, incidentally, up to 33 Celsius (91°F). In the world of the weather reader, cold is always bad, and hot is always good. We are not allowed to enjoy wind, rain or cold. We must conform. To be fair to weather readers, though, they do give us the occasional warning not to expose ourselves to the sun for more than 15 minutes. But for some reason, it is on exactly those days when the whole nation decides to strip off and go to the beach, or go on a nice jog. So perhaps it is the general populace that is to blame, and weather readers are in fact just mocking us when they tell us that hotter is better.

Anyway, while weather readers may be the worst, they are in good company. Take British Health and Safety legislators. Please. They tell us that people who work in cold environments should not be exposed to temperatures of less than 16°C (61°F). Or an absolute minimum of 13°C (55°F) if "severe" physical effort is used. Good for them. Well done. It's nice to know people care. And so what is the legislation for the upper limit? There isn't any.

One final group that deserves mention for their idiotic view of temperature are the tabloid newspapers. You can guarantee that whenever there is a heatwave, they will print a picture of a semi-naked woman with a big smile on her face while she fries an egg on a pavement or something equally ridiculous. But when you've stopped being amazed at how a pavement is so hot that it can fry an egg, and when you've finished being equally amazed by the fathomless cleavage, does anyone stop to think "hang on, she (presumably) has a brain, and her brain is being exposed to that heat, too. Isn't that, like, a bad thing?"

We need to change this culture. For the last decade, instead of being made to feel strange for not liking hot weather, I've turned things around and demanded that people justify why they do like it. I can give a list of reasons why I don't like it. Sweating, feeling uncomfortable, sleepless nights, thunderstorms (lightning is not the outdoor enthusiast's best friend, right?), wasps, flies, midges, poor air quality, humidity, hayfever, sunburn. You could even get more serious and talk about skin cancer, eye damage and heat stroke, if you wish. We always hear about people dying in cold weather. But what about the estimated 35,000 people that died in the European heat wave in 2003? Heat is bad, okay? The problem of cold weather is relatively easy to solve. The colder it gets, the more clothes you can wear. But the hotter it gets, the more you are in trouble. Our bodies run at about 37°C (98.6°F). We rely on regulating our body temperature by losing heat to the cooler environment. It's a fine balance. At 40°C, you are in dire trouble. At 41°C, your brain starts to die. So, note to weather readers et al: Environmental temperatures that start hitting well over 30°C are not "splendid," "decent," "welcome," "marvellous," etc. They are bad. Summer is for insects. Winter is for humans. Get it?

[The Editor speaks: "Right. That's enough. I do the rants around here. I'm editing a lot of this stuff out! If you want to know what I've deleted, just re-read the last few paragraphs but rearrange the words slightly - that will give you a good idea what you are missing."]

So, you may be wondering, if I am so against high temperatures, why am I trying to climb a mountain in the middle of a heat wave? Well, I'm doing it for this web site, amongst other things. We already have a few items on winter and cold weather. We've published items on how to stay comfortable, safe, hydrated, fed and sheltered in winter. So, to add to the guff that is Outdoor Idiots.com, I felt we should now tackle a much more difficult subject, which is how to cope with summer.

I know of nobody whose body reacts more badly to high temperatures than my own. So, I thought, I could possibly get some useful first-hand data if I exposed myself to horrific summer weather just before writing the article. I flattered myself that in spite of detesting hot weather, and in spite of the temperature being a good 22°C (40°F) beyond my comfort zone, I probably had enough know-how and resilience to cope with climbing a mountain in this heatwave. I was very nearly wrong. I am sure that it was more by luck than by judgement that I narrowly avoided living up to the name of this web site.









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