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Why do People Climb Mountains?
Submitted by An Outdoor Idiots Team Member.
Well? Why?
Get any well-known mountaineer on television or radio and the interviewer is bound to ask that old chestnut. It must be one of the most annoying questions going. Somebody must have asked that question decades ago, and for some reason it seems to have stuck in people's consciousness.
Why that type of question is reserved for mountaineering is beyond us. Why do anything? Why choose a particular colour of wallpaper? Why go to the gym? Why wear a particular pair of shoes? Why drive a car? Why play football? Why pick your nose?
Most people spend most of their lives doing pointless things, but they don't keep getting hassled for explanations! So leave the poor mountaineers alone, that's what we say.
However, we have finally found the definitive answer to this question. In a shocking worldwide scoop, Outdoor Idiots.com can at last put this question to bed. The answer comes from an old climbing journal, back in the days when everything was in black and white.
The original essay was written by a chap in India, and the journal (English) published it under the rather disturbing title, "Mountaineering - an Indian View". What is disturbing is the suggestion that other Indian mountaineers might be of the same mind as the author of the essay. We don't think we are looking at the writings of a mind that is under the influence of a particular national identity. We think the writing is better explained by the influence of certain mind-altering substances.
If, by chance, you are the author of this essay, then please get in touch, as we suspect you'll probably make a good addition to our team.
Get any well-known mountaineer on television or radio and the interviewer is bound to ask that old chestnut. It must be one of the most annoying questions going. Somebody must have asked that question decades ago, and for some reason it seems to have stuck in people's consciousness.
Why that type of question is reserved for mountaineering is beyond us. Why do anything? Why choose a particular colour of wallpaper? Why go to the gym? Why wear a particular pair of shoes? Why drive a car? Why play football? Why pick your nose?
Most people spend most of their lives doing pointless things, but they don't keep getting hassled for explanations! So leave the poor mountaineers alone, that's what we say.
However, we have finally found the definitive answer to this question. In a shocking worldwide scoop, Outdoor Idiots.com can at last put this question to bed. The answer comes from an old climbing journal, back in the days when everything was in black and white.
The original essay was written by a chap in India, and the journal (English) published it under the rather disturbing title, "Mountaineering - an Indian View". What is disturbing is the suggestion that other Indian mountaineers might be of the same mind as the author of the essay. We don't think we are looking at the writings of a mind that is under the influence of a particular national identity. We think the writing is better explained by the influence of certain mind-altering substances.
If, by chance, you are the author of this essay, then please get in touch, as we suspect you'll probably make a good addition to our team.
MOUNTAINEERING
By G. C. Joshi, Sovereign Science Scholar, Wisdom Garden, Glacier View, P.O. Kapkote, District Almora, India.Mountaineering is a divine hobby, a kingly game, a queenly subject, a perilous exercise, an aristocratic pastime, a musical glee, a magical sport, an elevating education and an angelic refreshment. The noble goal of Alpinists towards climbing the loftiest peaks could comfortably be accomplished through the cherubical weapons of constancy: purity of heart; discrimination; freedom from pride, envy, covetousness, gluttony, lust and sloth; fortitude; unhaughtiness; geniality of speech; absence of anger even on provocation; refraining from malicious gossip; absence of the feeling of self-importance; external purity; forgiveness and faith.
Monarchs, saints, scientists, philosophers, artists, poets, travellers and anglers were called upon allured and enamoured by the glamour, sublimity, scenic beauty, grace and elegance of the snow-capped peaks all over the Old World as well as the Western Hemisphere since the dawn of time. The track to snowy peaks is not strewn with roses; on the contrary, it is a path covered with thorns of hazard and peril, nevertheless, at the end of it there is the full-blown rose of mountaineering awaiting the eager-adventurous-cum-heroicly tired Alpinists thus saluting them with most cordial expressions of welcome in a spirit of meekness with a view to enlighten, humanise, refine, and elevate Alpinists' ethical, intellectual, mental and social nature as also instilling in them feelings of fraternity, truth, cosmic love, freedom, justice and equal opportunity whereby they will walk in the light of benevolence, companionableness and the hidden honey of human compassion.
In the fields of all-embracing education, international culture, global fellowship, world understanding and fraternal civilization — the role of gracious Alpinists is paramount in transforming the terrestrial globe into a celestial one, thereby sending forth showers of love-embroidered prosperity, everlasting virtue and the holy grail of sublime peace to the benign souls of the Western Hemisphere as well as the Eastern.
The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of high-spirited Alpinists can only be justified by the measure of their sacrifice, spirit of service and by becoming lovers of hospitality, lovers of goodmen, just, sober, holy, temperate, fearless, and above all, engaged in research on mountaineering craft for human illumination and nurturing congenial feelings of tenderness as well as of marvellous loving kindness towards all created beings.
If you can think of a better reason to climb mountains, then you can try to convince people in our forums, here.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
Your Comments
On 1 August 2006, Matt said:That's one of the nicest approximations of English I've seen in long time.
And anyway, everyone knows that mountaineers do it so they can show off their frostbite in the pub afterwards.
Matt
On 31 July 2006, stevep said:
Oh,
I thought the proper answer was "Because it was in MY way!!" Although I usually opt out of that, go a bit shy and mention something about the amazing views.
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