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Jobbie
Submitted by Martin Conway, Chorley, Lancashire, UK.
Look at this loon! Just take a look at him! Drunk on booze and his headtorch is all wrong! Disgraceful. Outdoor Idiots.com will not be associated with such behaviour, and will not dignify this fool by publishing his photograph.
Well okay then, go on.
This photograph did come in an email, and the email did contain some text. But the content of the text was a form of gibberish too strong for even Outdoor Idiots.com to understand. We called in an expert in gibberish, and even he was at a loss.
By chance, though, and just because it was something to do, we ran the text through our silly word scrambler page. Bingo! We can now pass on to you, dear reader, the more salient points of the email:
- Lancashire is in England.
- He found our web site while he was looking for information about wearing kilts in winter.
- He's an outdoor idiot (this confirms the photograph, anyway).
- The title of the photograph is "Jobbie", which we have respected in the filenames for this page.
- He advises that all outdoor cookery is best performed when under the influence of alcohol.
- He recommends Spar French Brandy. But we don't do plugs, so we won't mention that.
- He suggests that Spar French Brandy, at £9 a litre, is a good buy. But we don't do plugs, so we won't mention that.
- He says, and we quote, "Why not try some at your local spar, spar for all your shopping needs...". But we don't do plugs, so we won't mention that.
- We suspect he works for Spar.
- He offers a solution for people who wish to wear a kilt in winter, and are finding ... things ... a bit too cold. We aren't sure we can pass on his suggestion while maintaining a family-friendly site. However, his suggestion involved fox tails (or foxtails, all-one-word, which is quite a different thing, especially if you are a fox) and string, and we think it probably doesn't apply to women.
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
- Random number of randomly sized slabs of beef
- Unknown quantity of brandy (presumably Spar French Brandy, at what is presumably a very reasonable £9 per litre. But we don't do plugs, so we won't mention that.)
- 1/2 pot of honey
- Full pot of mustard
- Full pat of butter
Sauce: Boil in the pan, then baste on the beef
Beef: Apply fire
RESULT
"Dark brown, lumpy, with remnants of beef, honey, mustard, butter, brandy in it, not unpleasant really..."
So there you have it.
If you have any questions about this page or this recipe, then God knows we won't be able to answer it. But Martin might be able to. You can all get together and hammer it out in this specially prepared place in our forums, here. We aren't licensed to serve alcohol, so bring your own bottle. Of Spar French Brandy, of course.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
Your Comments
On 12 January 2007, Rod said:I believe this presentation may have to do with cooking, out of doors. Or de-scrambling. Or perhaps this Jobbie character / thing / ????. It appears experimental. Something is on fire which may have been furniture, we are not sure. The gentleman seems ple
On 9 December 2006, Rai Meers said:
Some sound info honestly presented.Great site gents(really only £9 at spar?)
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