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The German Army Sleeping Bag
Submitted by The Mysterious Mr. S, Who Knows Where?.
In our much-neglected
"Random Outdoor Gear"
feature (which we really need to go back to at some point, when we can be bothered), we
mentioned in passing that there exists a rather unusual sleeping bag, used
by the German army. Unusual? Well, it's got arms, for one thing. Don't get us started.
But we are open-minded. It could be a work of utilitarian genius. Or it could just
be a bit silly. We haven't tried one, so we can't really pass judgement.
Just before last weekend, a Mr. "Uh oh I'm going to die" added a comment to that article:
The weekend has now been and gone. And we have some shock news. Even more stunning than the revelation that Soylent Green is made out of people, is the revelation that he seems to have survived. More stunning yet is that he has been sporting enough to send us some photos and write up his experience. That's more than we have done for this website in the last few months, and we are supposed to be running the thing. So thanks for that.
In his email, it turns out that Mr. "Uh oh I'm going to die" is not his real name - that would be silly. It is, in fact, "S". Here is his account, together with our in-depth, forensic analysis of his photographs...
Just before last weekend, a Mr. "Uh oh I'm going to die" added a comment to that article:
So what's wrong with the Germany Army Sleeping Bag then? I'm using one this weekend (Yes it's January) with my poncho basha. If I survive I'll send photos.Well, we thought he was being a bit cocksure, with his presumptuous expectations that one could use a German army sleeping bag of all things, together with a poncho basha of all things, in the middle of January of all things, and actually survive the experience. So we challenged him to prove it.
The weekend has now been and gone. And we have some shock news. Even more stunning than the revelation that Soylent Green is made out of people, is the revelation that he seems to have survived. More stunning yet is that he has been sporting enough to send us some photos and write up his experience. That's more than we have done for this website in the last few months, and we are supposed to be running the thing. So thanks for that.
In his email, it turns out that Mr. "Uh oh I'm going to die" is not his real name - that would be silly. It is, in fact, "S". Here is his account, together with our in-depth, forensic analysis of his photographs...
The German Army Sleeping Bag Experience
Saturday night spent in that German survival bag/parka coat thingie and didn’t die after all.Couple of pix attached.
On hindsight I should have set the poncho up as a lean-to and made a full length fire out of bigger logs to fend off the 3:00am bone chill blues.
The German bag coat is “okay”. I had 5 layers on but still was uncomfortable with cold. Could have done with a decent sleeping bag inside as well, but the dog stole that when he slept in the Land Rover.
Next time I will try out a current issue Gortex bivvy bag under a full sized basha (not poncho) combined with half decent sleeping bag and then hopefully retire the German thing.
Proof of life photo as requested... sorry no newspaper but the photo clearly shows I am alive as I wouldn’t be seen dead in that Balaclava.
BTW I used the knots to secure the poncho as per the Outdooridiots.com guide – great stuff.
Cheers
S.
The Documentary Evidence
[The Editor speaks: "Pah! Talk is cheap! I want evidence!"][Vic speaks: "What about these photos, then..."]
[The Editor speaks: "Oh."]
[Ray Gears speaks: "Well, there's the poncho basha alright. Things are looking good!"]
[Flossy speaks: "(Translated) Ooooh, he's got a fire going. That's nice."]
[The Editor speaks: "Yes, that IS nice. It means he can make TEA!"]
[Flossy speaks: "..."]
[The Editor speaks: "I said TEA, flossy! NOW!"]
[Flossy speaks: "Baa-aaa-aaah!"]
[Vic speaks: "Is that a dog in the background?"]
[Henry speaks: "It's bound to have fleas."]
[Ray Gears speaks: "I don't see any sign of the sleeping bag."]
[Vic speaks: "It is a dog! I like dogs..."]
[The Editor speaks: "Idiot! It's bad enough with one dumb animal around here. Has she made that tea yet?"]
[Ray Gears speaks: "Still no sign of the sleeping bag. Unless it's that thing around the dog. It could be a miniature one. Yes! I want one of those!"]
[Henry speaks: "But you don't have a dog, you idiot."]
[Ray Gears speaks: "That's not the point. I'm Ray Gears."]
[Henry speaks: "That figures. You never leave the house, but you've still got walking boots."]
[The Editor speaks: "Quiet, team! Let's stay focussed here."]
[Ray Gears speaks: "That's right. We want to see the sleeping bag."]
[The Editor speaks: "Not that, you fool! I mean TEA! FLOSSY!!? Where is that animal?"]
[Vic speaks: "Hang on a minute! Has anyone noticed what's under the sleeping mat? He's made a bed out of the forest with his bare hands! This guy's a real pro!"]
[Ray Gears speaks: "There it is! YES! I'm getting one!"]
[Vic speaks: "Are you sure he's alive? That was the challenge, wasn't it?"]
[The Editor speaks: "Of course he's alive! His eyes are open! Ask any doctor."]
[Henry speaks: "That doesn't mean anything. He's probably dead. Idiot."]
[Vic speaks: "That's a cute dog. I love dogs."]
[The Editor speaks: "Oh, stop banging on about dogs! This article is about TEA!"]
[Ray Gears speaks: "I thought it was about the German army sleeping bag?"]
[The Editor speaks: "Oh. Yes. Well what's the point of this photo then?"]
[Vic speaks: "It looks like the campsite the next morning. Look! It's as if nobody has even been there! First he makes forest bedding with his bare hands, and then he vanishes without a trace! Who IS this guy?"]
[Henry speaks: "He's the one the government call when it all goes wrong."]
[Vic speaks: "He IS alive! Thank God for that!"]
[Henry speaks: "I'm still not convinced. He's looking a bit peaky."]
[The Editor speaks: "Well I'm the editor, and my decision is final. I declare him to be alive! Good. Now that's out of the way, let's get on with the tea, shall we?"]
If you have a burning opinion or question about the German army sleeping bag, you can yabble on about it in our forums, here. Who knows? Perhaps the mysterious Mr. S will drop by and put matters straight.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
If you can't be bothered to enter the forums, then shame on you! But you can still leave a comment below. Please try to avoid the profane ramblings of a madman. That's our job.
Your Comments
On 27 September 2008, Stargazer said:I spent a very cold SUMMER'S night in one of these things never mind January! The Germans must be made of tougher stuff than I am.
However despite virtually no insulating properties the idea is great, having sleeves in your sleeping bag allows you to coo
On 22 August 2008, Outside dog said:
I had a German army sleeping bag years ago too, they are not a bad idea, but they are not very warm at all.
Better off with two old wooly blankets and a big fire id say.
On 24 April 2008, Ally said:
How well does it perform in the wet?
On 6 January 2008, johann gerlach said:
Hi glad you survive
iam a 48 old ex german army member
those sleeping bags were regular army
we had recon baks they were better.
By the way i am still go outdoor and wear a us military sleppingbag
hello from germany
johann
On 13 June 2007, Been there - done it... said:
German army sleeping bag style that is.
I went through the Himalaya in Nepal for the best part of two months with one of these and I can safely say that they are, really, absolutely CRAP.
I had to wear a British Army issue chinese fighting suite every
On 7 April 2007, Old Girl said:
A sleeping bag with arms seems like a bright idea for indoors... but camping! Now why does anyone want to go camping?
In January...
Outside..
in the dark!
On 24 March 2007, Kitty said:
NINJAA =D. Hehehehe. Luffleh! Colourfulness!!! ^_^. I likes it. GIEF! <3x
On 7 March 2007, Hoak Hogan said:
Hahahaha, this little discussion just made my day. Im gonna have some tea now...
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