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Know Your Lunar Eclipses
Submitted by An Outdoor Idiots Team Member.
Introduction
Last night and this morning we were out observing the lunar eclipse. It turned out to be a fiasco. Our editor kept complaining about how bad his flasked tea tasted, and how it was incompatible with the Mint Aeros we had packed for him. Then Ray started complaining about being bored, and whinging on about all the fresh air that was all over the place. To stop him crying, we had to give him our torches to play with. We lost Flossy twice and had to go searching for her. Vic kept ranting on about the spirituality of the moment, so we had to gag him with a bandage from the first aid kit. Henry was just plain annoying, but then he always is.In the cold light of dawn, we all calmed down a bit and decided we needed to learn some lessons. Why had it all gone so wrong? Why had we all lost interest in the main event? Well, we blame the eclipse itself. It was a bit rubbish. We felt it had let us down badly. The pictures that we took will help to explain our disappointment:
Do you see the problem with the last picture on the bottom-right? That's right, plain as the nose on your face, there's a moon in it. So much for a "total" eclipse. We were expecting a magic show. The Moon was supposed to disappear in front of our very eyes. But it didn't, and we want our money back.
We are determined to never again experience such disappointment at the hands of one of these so-called "total" lunar eclipses. Next time, the Moon is going to disappear, and we are going to make sure of it. We couldn't see the solution at first, because we'd forgotten all the lessons we learned at school about how the universe works. So we researched into the matter from first principles. Our main goal was to solve the non-disappearing Moon problem, but in the course of our research, we discovered lots of other utterly useless facts about the Moon and stuff. In order to pad out this non-disappearing-Moon-problem-solving guide, we will of course mention all those useless facts first.
Stupidity Avoidance
As with any scientific subject, there are all manner of pitfalls in the field of astronomy that can catch you out and have people laughing at you. For example, last night Flossy asked, "Will the stars get dimmer, too?". Of course, we all laughed very hard at her, in order to make her feel small and to make us feel better about our own inadequacies. She's still bleating now and she's been off her grass ever since. So here is a quick guide that should hopefully help us all avoid saying stupid things next time there is a lunar eclipse:Moon versus moon
A moon, with a small "m", is any naturally-occurring body that orbits around a planet. The "Moon", with a capital "M", is the name given to the naturally-occurring body that orbits around the Earth. So the Earth's moon is called the Moon. See? Don't forget that.Interestingly, though, there are now so many objects that have been discovered in our solar system which satisfy this definition of "moon", that the definition might be changed at some point. There are currently well over 100 known moons, and astronomers are likely to change the rules when things get out of hand. If every lump of rock that orbits a planet is a moon, then astronomers are going to run out of nice names for each one. This would be unthinkable, and so they are going to need to put some kind of lower size limit on what can be called a moon. After all, where do we stand with all the lumps of rock in Saturn's rings? Are they moons? Well? Are they?
And it's not only small lumps of rock that cause problems with the definition of the word "moon". What about when the moon is almost as big as the planet? Like in the case of Pluto, with its moon Charon. And speaking of size, is Pluto really big enough to be called a planet? Oh, it's all too complex. Just stop thinking about it until the problem goes away, that's our advice.
Clever Words
If you can throw at least one scientific-sounding term into a sentence, you stand a much better chance of holding your own in a conversation. There are many lunar-eclipse-related-crowd-pleasers to choose from, but if we had to choose just one, we would recommend the term "umbral magnitude" (an umbra is a region of shadow). Commit this to memory, and you won't go far wrong. If the Moon is going to be half-covered by the Earth's shadow, then the umbral magnitude of the eclipse will be 0.5. If the Earth's shadow is going to be just big enough to entirely cover the Moon, the umbral magnitude is 1, and the Moon will start to emerge from the shadow as soon as it has entered it. If the Moon is going to fall well within the Earth's shadow then the umbral magnitude is greater than 1, and the Moon will be in the shadow for a while. So a total lunar eclipse always has an umbral magnitude of 1 or more, and a partial lunar eclipse has an umbral magnitude of less than 1. Last night, the umbral magnitude of the eclipse was 1.238, which is why it was a "total" eclipse that lasted for quite a while.Astronomy vs. Astrology
Never, ever confuse astrology with astronomy. Your friends might never speak to you again. Astronomy is a science which investigates all the matter and energy in the universe. Astrology is mumbo-jumbo witchcraft, generally used to pad-out women's magazines and the waistlines of its overpaid peddlers. If you struggle to remember the difference, then perhaps an image might help to aid the memory. Here are two of Britain's finest from both fields:
Now admittedly, the differences are not as obvious as they could be. Both of these distinguished gentlemen seem to share our editor's fondness for pie, and have used their careers to fuel their waistlines. Not only that, but they both appear to have a certain disinterest in hair-management. But there are also some important differences. In order to help you wade through this minefield, here is a quick-reference chart to cut out and keep:
| Astronomer | Astrologer | |
| Personality | Grumpy | Bubbly |
| Most-used body part | Eyes (often naked) | Hands (pointless gesticulations) |
| Favourite number | 9 | 12 |
| Sexuality | Robust | Unclear |
| Favourite force | Gravity | Publicity |
| Waistline | Public | Gravitational |
| Favourite accessory | Monocle | Magic healing pendant |
| Hair | Unkempt; Skew; Early manic | Unkempt; Circular; Bouffant |
| Target audience | Men (esp. thin, spectacles) | Women (esp. single) |
Right, now that we are armed with enough information to avoid making a terrible faux-pas at the next eclipse get-together, we can move on to some interesting eclipse-related facts that can be used to relieve the boredom at the next such event...
Page 1 of 3 Next [Top of Page]
Page 1: Introduction; Stupidity Avoidance
Page 2: Random Eclipse-Related Facts
Page 3: Eclipse Geometry; How to Make a Proper Eclipse
Page 2: Random Eclipse-Related Facts
Page 3: Eclipse Geometry; How to Make a Proper Eclipse
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